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Descartes' Demon

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Lone and Level Sands

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Uncommitted Crimes

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Omnibus! Volume 1

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Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Man With A Skull For A Head Interviews #2: Alan Ryker

Alan Ryker, Yesterday
The Man With A Skull For A Head interviews continue, with the second victim being the Abominable Gentlemen's criminal mastermind, Alan Ryker.

Again, the interview as conducted over a few pints in the Jeykll and Hyde pub, which is located in Nottingham, Sunderland or Kansas, depending on your (and its) point of view. Regardless of location, its measures are always in Imperial.

TMWASFAH: "If you could make any one person - alive or dead, male or female, real or fictional - an honorary Abominable Gentleman, who would it be and why?"

AR: Abolitionist John Brown. He’s my personal hero, but an actual hero only because he ended up on the right side of history. He makes liberals very nervous because he was essentially a terrorist for the correct side, murdering and pillaging against slavery. I hold few memberships, as I am picky about my associates. One is as an Abominable Gentlemen. The other, a soldier in John Brown’s army.

TMWASFAH: "What's the most abominable thing you've done that you want to reveal to the internet at large?"

I developed a breed of dog which is so cute that it destroys the minds of all those who look upon it: the pughuameranian. Once you see a pughuameranian, your existence is hollow until you have one to call your very own. But of course, there’s only one! Madness, thy name is Chewie!

So many ruined lives…

TMWASFAH: "As you know, the Gentlemen drink in the Jekyll and Hyde pub. If you had a Mister Hyde style alter-ego what would he (she?!) be called and why?"

I revealed my alter-ego with a palindrome in my author’s notes in Penny Dreadnought: Descartes’ Demon.

Alan Ryker is evil. Live, Sire Kyrnala!

Although I’m not certain if it’s a Jekyll and Hyde situation, as Sire Kyrnala is also quite evil. The main difference between us is that he hates cilantro, while I love it.

TMWASFAH: "If you had a free pick from all of literature of one story by a guest author for a future issue of Penny Dreadnought, what would it be?"

I’ve never read better portrayals of the beautiful connection between genius and self-destruction as in the works of Jim Shephard. My favorite example of this is probably “Climb Aboard the Mighty Flea.”

TMWASFAH: "As writers, we often get asked for boring factual author bios. If you could write an author bio unconstrained by the boundaries of reality and truth, what would it say?"

Alan Ryker is Evil. Live, Sire Kyrnala!

Though that is both factual and truthful, it’s what I’d say if unconstrained.

TMWASFAH: "What one thing would you like to know about one of the other Abominable Gentlemen that you currently don't?"

Why would you ever choose to associate with Alan Ryker?

Oh, how self-absorbed of me! Isn’t that abominable? No? Just kind of dickish? Well, that’s a step in the right direction, wouldn’t you say?

Okay, then I would ask Mr. Everington how he manages to commit so many abominable deeds. I have a feeling he has some sort of time-manipulation device, and I’d like to borrow it.

Maybe then I could manage to fit a little rest for the wicked into my busy schedule.

TMWASFAH: "What one book of yours would you like to plug to the Penny Dreadnought readership?"

I want someone to buy Psychomancer, just for the novelty of it. It’s full of humor, pseudo-philosophic ramblings and great heaping helpings of my trademark, over-the-top violence! But no one ever buys it. I have no idea why not. Does it have halitosis?

Answer the halitosis question for yourself by buying Psychomancer from Amazon (US | UK)

1 comment:

  1. I almost fell off my seat laughing mate! Does it have halitosis? Maybe my dentists knoxville can check that out. It sure looks like a good read, based on your description of course.